My personal journey with mindfulness

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The unexamined life is not worth living

Socrates

A month ago, I had a nagging urge to shift my life in a different direction. I felt my life was greatly misaligned with my goals, and that I wasn’t as productive as I would like. So naturally, I did what any millennial would do – blame it on my phone addiction. It was as if my mind mirrored the ever-shifting content on my phone, flitting from one distraction to the next. One particularly unproductive evening comes to mind. I was supposed to be studying for an exam, but one cat video on TikTok sent me down a rabbit hole. An hour later, I emerged, eyes glazed over, with a belly full of laughter and a looming deadline. This wasn’t living; it was mindless consumption.

All problems can be solved by a few YouTube searches (or so I’ve heard). In no time, I was going through a myriad of productivity videos. They all had promising titles, including ‘How to increase your focus’ to ‘Why you’re always distracted’ and the infamous ‘How to boost your focus PERMANENTLY in minutes- Neuroscientist reveals’. I found myself deeply engrossed in them, and picked up some tools to experiment with as a result of my research.

Firstly, I quit all of my social media. Now, anyone who knows me personally knows how much of a love-hate relationship I have with these highly addictive apps. Tiktok for one, was especially difficult to let go of. The amount of hilarious content that had me doubling up with laughter and comically slapping my knees is insane. However, so much of my time was being lost to this and once I started scrolling, it was nearly impossible to stop. Therefore, I decided to deactivate my accounts indefinitely, to see if there would be any improvement in how I spend my time.

Secondly, I turned to how to dramatically decrease my phone screen time. I went through a phase of turning on the greyscale setting on my phone. This meant that everything on my phone would be grey, and yes, this included YouTube! This sucked the joy out of using it, and I was surprised at how big of a role the bright color display played in keeping me glued to my screen. In addition, I turned off every notification, and my phone remained always on silent.

The first week of my little experiment was extremely successful. Sleep came easily, replacing the late-night social media binges. Focus during the day was laser-sharp, allowing me to finally chip away at my schoolwork backlog. The extra time unearthed a long-forgotten passion for learning, and I enrolled in online courses to further my career. An added perk was the sense of peace and lowered anxiety that came with finishing most of my planned activities and not doom scrolling social media. I felt unstoppable.

However, human nature, or perhaps my addiction to instant gratification, proved to be a formidable foe. By the second week, the initial euphoria waned. Boredom crept in, and the siren song of social media became irresistible. My screen time increased steadily as I discovered new ways to distract myself online. I felt disappointed, in myself and how much my plan had failed me. Had I doomed myself to a life of mindless scrolling? Maybe I was destined to spend my days ignorant and blissfully reposting TikTok videos.

Thankfully, salvation arrived in the form of mindfulness, introduced during one of the online courses. The concept was simple – five minutes of daily meditation. This wasn’t entirely new territory; I had dabbled in meditation over the years, but consistency had always been an issue. This time, however, I was determined to make it a habit.

I began incorporating mindfulness into my daily routine, starting with just 5 minutes a day as the course suggested. I found a quiet corner in my room where I could sit comfortably, close my eyes, and focus on my breath. At first, my mind was racing with thoughts of unfinished tasks and worries about the future. But with each breath, I felt myself becoming more grounded and present.

As the days passed, I increased my mindfulness practice to 10 minutes each day. I noticed subtle changes in how I approached my work and interacted with others. I was more patient, more focused, and less reactive to stressful situations. The constant urge to check my phone began to fade away.

One morning, as I sat for my usual meditation session, a sense of calm washed over me like never before. It was as if all the noise and distractions of the outside world had melted away, leaving behind a deep sense of peace within me. At that moment, I realized true productivity wasn’t about cramming as many tasks into my day as possible or avoiding distractions at all costs. It was about finding balance, about being fully present in each moment and giving my undivided attention to whatever I was doing. Mindfulness had opened my eyes to the beauty of simplicity, to the power of being here, now.

This journey of mindfulness is far from over, but I’m excited to see where it leads. Through meditation, I silenced the constant chatter of my mind and began truly examining my life. It allowed me to confront the reasons behind my social media dependence and recognize the fleeting nature of instant gratification. Mindfulness wasn’t just about focus and productivity; it was about intentionality. Being present in each moment, I discovered what truly matters and how I want to spend my time. Socrates was right: the unexamined life is not worth living. Mindfulness provided the tools to examine my life and live it with greater purpose and intention.

Finally, some resources for guided meditation for beginners:

Patricia Wanjiru
Patricia Wanjiru

Hello friends :). I am a medical student with a passion for writing, mental health, and technology. I hope my posts positively impact your journey through medical school and life!

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  1. Your experience informs about a really key concept in our busy lives; finding just enough inner calmness to navigate the chaos around us. Thank you for sharing.